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At 85, my mother carries a lifetime of quiet courage. Two stories define her. She travelled to Germany over 50 years ago and came back the first woman in her family to wear pants and cut her hair short. Then an electric shock from a faulty heater damaged her nerves and left her with lifelong spinal problems. When she could not bend at all, she learned to pick up a needle with her toes. Change and resilience, in equal measure.
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Every morning at 5:00 AM, my mother was already awake. Not to peace, but to pressure. She cooked, she served, she endured constant criticism from her mother-in-law no matter how hard she tried. When others defended her, it only made things worse. Yet she kept going, walking on eggshells in her own home, never breaking.
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Born in 1938 to a father who believed school was only for sons, my mother never spent a single day in a classroom. By eight, she was already sweeping floors, cooking, and raising her siblings while her brothers were sent to study. Long before she could read a single word herself, she made sure her younger sisters never missed a day of school and only in her twenties, through free night classes, did she finally learn to read and write.
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My father never spoke about hardship in a dramatic way — his strength showed up quietly, in folded laundry, dinners cooked without complaint, a light left on for whoever came home late. No titles, no applause, just decades of steady giving. Now older, all he wants is simple: his children safe, healthy, and home for meals.
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I grew up in a kampung near Yio Chu Kang, one of twelve children in a family where money was always tight. I went on to spend more than forty years as a dedicated assistant chemist, rarely missing a single day of work. My hope is simple: study hard, work hard, and doors will open that earlier generations could only dream of.
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One of my most memorable memories of her is how she never gave up, even during difficult times. After her stroke, she continued to show courage and patience despite challenges she faced. Watching her strength taught me the true meaning of perseverance and unconditional love.
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By the time we were all grown, her hands had become worn and wrinkled from years of labour. Yet, she never expressed regret. She would say she had lived a meaningful life. She did not regret marrying my father, leaving her hometown, or coming to Singapore alone without family or friends.
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My siblings and I, as we listened to this story through our years of growing up in poverty, took it as a lesson and recognize that the world exists as such. We are reminded to always stand up for ourselves and jostle for our place in society. More importantly, even if all efforts fail and we have to face some embarrassment, we must always finish the race.
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Caring for mothers and newborn babies became more than a profession—it became her gift to the world. She brought warmth, reassurance, and strength to countless families during some of the most important moments of their lives.
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I once asked my mother, “What was the unhappiest time in your life?” She replied that she felt a sense of emptiness and sadness when I went off to university and started working—that she felt like she no longer had a place in my life. Her colleagues even told me the same thing, saying that during that time, they saw her desk filled with A4 sheets covered with my name written over and over again.
3 months ago
