A mother’s greatest legacy is not what she leaves behind for her children, but what she builds within them. In that respect, my mother has left us a priceless gift.
My mother, Mdm Wong, is 79 years old this year, having been born in 1947. Her story may seem unusual today, but it was perhaps not uncommon during that era.
She was born into a Hakka family but was adopted as a baby by my grandmother, who was Cantonese. In her younger days, my grandmother had taken a vow of celibacy after arriving in Singapore from China. However, when World War II broke out, circumstances changed. For safety and survival, she married a widower who already had three children. She never had any biological children of her own but later adopted my mother and raised her as her daughter.
My mother was given away because her biological father believed that her birth element would clash with his and bring misfortune to the family. Despite this belief, her biological mother and siblings found the separation heartbreaking. My grandmother later told my mother that her biological mother and elder brothers would secretly visit and watch from a distance to make sure she was well cared for after she was given away.
Unfortunately, my mother never knew the identities of her biological parents or siblings. The only information she had was that her biological father worked as a seamster and that the family eventually moved to Malaysia after she was adopted.
Life with my grandmother was far from easy. The family lived in poverty, and my grandmother’s husband passed away early, leaving her to support the family on her own. She worked tirelessly to make ends meet. Because every day of work was essential to the family’s survival, she could not afford to take time off to enrol my mother in school. As a result, my mother remained illiterate throughout her childhood.
As a teenager, she followed friends from the kampong to attend free night classes, where she learned to read and write basic Chinese. Although she was grateful for that opportunity, the lack of formal education remained her greatest regret. Throughout her life, she often felt looked down upon because she could not speak or read English and did not have the educational qualifications that others possessed. This left a deep and lasting impact on her.
Determined that her children would not face the same challenges, my mother placed enormous importance on education. She was extremely strict with my two sisters and me while we were growing up, constantly pushing us to study hard and earn university degrees.
I still remember receiving harsh canings in primary school if I did not score full marks for spelling tests or if I failed my Mathematics exams, which was my weakest subject. While my sisters excelled academically, I was often the naughty one. To ensure I kept up with my studies, my mother carefully stretched every dollar from the household allowance my father provided. She scrimped and saved so that she could pay for my tuition lessons.
After her marriage, she became a homemaker and devoted herself wholeheartedly to raising her family. Despite having limited formal education herself, she understood better than anyone the value of learning and the opportunities it could bring.
Even today, at 79 years old, she continues to remind us to upgrade ourselves, remain financially independent, and never stop learning. Her passion for education extends to her grandchildren as well, and she constantly encourages them to study hard and strive for excellence.
Her relationship with my father was not an easy one, and much of her hopes and aspirations were invested in her three daughters. We are proud that we did not let her down. All three of us earned university degrees and built respectable careers, fulfilling the dream she worked so hard to make possible.
Beyond her resilience and determination, my mother was also a remarkably beautiful woman in her younger days. She had big expressive eyes, long silky hair, and an 18-inch waist. Before becoming a homemaker, she worked as a hairstylist and was always fashionably dressed in the latest trends of the era—bell-bottom pants, fitted tops, and elegant beehive hairstyles. Some of my fondest childhood memories are of playing with her makeup kit and admiring her sense of style.
Looking back, my mother’s lack of formal education was the greatest regret of her life. But instead of allowing that regret to define her, she transformed it into a driving force that shaped the future of her children. Through sacrifice, discipline, perseverance, and unwavering love, she ensured that her daughters would have the opportunities she never had.
Her story is not just one of hardship and loss, but also one of resilience, courage, and a mother’s determination to give her children a better life than her own.
她创造了我们的未来
我的母亲黄女士今年79岁，出生于1947年。她的故事在今天看来或许有些不同寻常，但在那个年代却并不罕见。
她出生于一个客家家庭，但出生不久就被我的祖母收养，我的祖母是广东人。祖母年轻时从中国来到新加坡后，曾发誓守贞。然而，二战爆发后，情况发生了变化。为了安全和生存，她嫁给了一位已有三个孩子的鳏夫。她没有自己的亲生子女，但后来收养了我的母亲，并将她视如己出。
我的母亲被送走，是因为她的生父认为她的五行与他的五行相克，会给家族带来厄运。尽管有这样的观念，她的生母和兄弟姐妹仍然为她的离别感到心碎。我的祖母后来告诉我的母亲，她的生母和哥哥们会在她被送走后偷偷地来看望她，远远地看着她，确保她得到妥善的照顾。
不幸的是，我的母亲从未得知亲生父母和兄弟姐妹的身份。她唯一知道的信息是，她的生父是一名裁缝，在她被收养后，全家搬到了马来西亚。
与祖母一起生活并不轻松。家境贫寒，祖母的丈夫早逝，留下她独自一人支撑全家。她辛勤劳作，勉力维持生计。由于每天的工作对家庭的生存至关重要，她根本无暇顾及让母亲上学。因此，母亲在整个童年时期都是文盲。
十几岁时，她跟随村里的朋友去参加免费的夜校，在那里学习了基本的中文读写。尽管她很感激这个机会，但缺乏正规教育仍然是她最大的遗憾。在她的一生中，她常常因为不会说英语、不会读英语，也没有其他人拥有的学历而感到被人瞧不起。这给她留下了深刻而持久的影响。
为了不让孩子们重蹈覆辙，我的母亲极其重视教育。在我们成长过程中，她对我和两个姐姐要求非常严格，不断督促我们努力学习，争取大学学位。
我至今仍记得，小学时，如果拼写测试没考满分，或者数学考试不及格（数学是我的弱项），就会挨打。妹妹们学习成绩优异，而我却常常调皮捣蛋。为了确保我能跟上学习进度，母亲精打细算，把父亲给的零花钱省吃俭用，省吃俭用，只为了支付我的补习费用。
婚后，她成为一名家庭主妇，全心全意地投入到家庭生活中。尽管她本人受教育程度不高，但她比任何人都更懂得学习的价值及其带来的机遇。即使到了今天，79岁高龄的她依然不断提醒我们提升自我，保持经济独立，并且永不止步地学习。她对教育的热情也延伸到了她的孙辈身上，她不断鼓励他们努力学习，追求卓越。
她与父亲的关系并不融洽，她把许多希望和抱负都寄托在了三个女儿身上。我们很自豪没有让她失望。我们三人都获得了大学学位，并建立了体面的事业，实现了她为之奋斗多年的梦想。
除了坚韧不拔的毅力和坚定的决心，我的母亲年轻时也是一位美艳动人的女性。她有一双明亮的大眼睛，一头柔顺的长发，还有18英寸的纤细腰肢。在成为家庭主妇之前，她是一名发型师，总是穿着当时最流行的服饰——喇叭裤、修身上衣和优雅的蜂窝头。我童年最美好的回忆之一，就是玩她的化妆盒，欣赏她的时尚品味。
回首往事，母亲一生最大的遗憾就是没有接受过正规教育。但她并没有让这份遗憾定义自己，而是将其转化为一种动力，塑造了孩子们的未来。凭借着牺牲、自律、毅力和坚定不移的爱，她确保女儿们拥有了她自己从未拥有过的机会。
她的故事不仅仅是关于苦难和失去，更是一个关于韧性、勇气和一位母亲决心为孩子们创造比自己更美好生活的故事。