Author: Yu Ziyu 余紫瑀
For a period of my childhood, I lived with my Indonesian grandmother. We lived together for a little over two years, during which she became my primary caregiver. My parents returned to Taiwan for work, while I stayed behind in a foreign country that felt completely unfamiliar. Beside me was a grandmother I had only known for a few months. For a child of only seven or eight years old, this was extremely unsettling. At that time, I often cried secretly in empty stairwells or sat alone outside temples in a daze. Grandma would not say much; she simply allowed me the space to calm down and process my emotions on my own.
After gradually adapting to life without my parents, I also began learning Indonesian, slowly becoming able to communicate with Grandma through language. Each day, Grandma would take me to my tutor’s house for lessons. Around noon, she would come to pick me up and bring me to nearby markets to walk around together, buying vegetables and meat. Sometimes we would also visit second-hand shops or small grocery stores. To this day, these places remain deeply imprinted in my memory. As my Indonesian improved, Grandma began taking me on buses and trains to places farther away. Sometimes we visited relatives and received red envelopes, and I would get one as well. Other times, we went to larger markets or shopping malls farther from home. Most of our outings involved walking under the blazing sun. In my memory, Grandma always held tightly onto my wrist, leading me forward. After walking for a long time, my wrist would start to hurt. At that point, she would switch hands and continue guiding me by firmly holding my wrist.
Grandma was the mother of my mother’s former husband. Because her son passed away early and she had no one else to take care of her, she continued living together with the family. Although my mother was in Taiwan, the children from her previous marriage took care of Grandma together, and I followed them in calling her “Grandma.”
After returning to Taiwan, several years passed, and from time to time I would go back to visit her. The last time I saw Grandma was the year before last. Her body was still strong, but because she had once slipped in the bathroom, the family tried to prevent her from moving around too much. Even so, I could still see her busy figure cooking in the kitchen. A few months later, I heard the news that Grandma had fallen again. Due to a fracture, she was hospitalized, but her condition did not improve. She passed away just like that, at the age of eighty-seven. When I heard the news, I could hardly believe it and felt deeply saddened. I never expected her departure to come so suddenly. I had not had the chance to see her a few more times, and I could not even attend her funeral. Far away in Taiwan, all I could do was watch the funeral video, using it to see Grandma one last time.
Even now, I still think of Grandma from time to time. The moments we spent together continue to replay in my mind. Those days were among the happiest times of my childhood. Whenever I recall my memories in Indonesia, they are all traces of life lived together with Grandma. I am grateful for the decision my parents made back then, because it allowed me to have such precious memories with her.
我的童年有一段時間是和印尼的婆婆一起度過的，
我們一起生活了約兩年多，婆婆成為了我那時的主要照
顧者。父母因工作先回台灣而我留在人生地不熟的國
外，身邊只有認識不過幾個月的婆婆，對當時僅有七、
八歲的我來說是非常不安的。那時的我常會在無人的樓
梯間偷哭、坐在寺外發呆，婆婆也不會多說什麼，讓我
獨自沉澱心情。
適應了父母不在的生活後，也開始要學習印尼語，
慢慢能和婆婆用語言交流。我每天的生活是由婆婆送我
去家教老師的家上課，約莫上到中午，婆婆就會來接我去附近的市場走走，一起買菜、
肉，有時也會到二手店、雜貨店逛逛，到現在這些地方都仍印象深刻。在我印尼語日漸精
進時，婆婆也開始會帶我搭公車、火車去比較遠的地方，有時是探訪親戚順便拿紅包，而
我也會分到一包。有時是去更遠的市場、百貨公司逛逛。和婆婆出門的日子裡大部分都在
頂著大太陽走路，記憶中的婆婆總是緊緊抓著我的手腕，帶著我往前走，走久還會覺得手
腕好痛，這時婆婆就會換隻手，繼續以抓著手腕的方式帶著我。
婆婆是我媽媽前夫的母親，因為前夫早逝而婆婆也無人照顧所以就繼續一起生活。雖
然媽媽人在台灣，但和前夫所生的子女會一同照顧婆婆，而我也跟著他們一起用「婆婆」
的方式稱呼她。
回國後過了好幾年，時不時會回去一趟，最後一次見面是在大前年。婆婆的身體一樣
硬朗，但因為曾在浴室滑倒過所以會盡量避免婆婆到處走動，但還是能看見婆婆在廚房忙
碌下廚的身影。那之後過了幾個月聽到婆婆再次摔倒的消息，骨折的關係住院治療卻時時
不見好轉，就這樣離世了，享年87歲。聽到消息的我不敢相信也感到難過，沒想到婆婆
的離開會來得這麼快，還來不及再多見幾次面，甚至連喪禮也無法參加。遠在台灣的我只
能看著葬送的影片，藉此見婆婆最後一面。
現在仍舊時不時會想起婆婆，曾度過的點點滴滴還在腦海中回放，那是我童年最快樂
的時光之一，回想在印尼的記憶都是和婆婆一起生活的痕跡，謝謝當時父母的決定，我才
能擁有與婆婆珍貴的回憶。