Author: Not Written
When I was young, I lived in Japan, so Grandpa and Grandma often came to visit us. There was even a period when we lived together. At that time, I was still very young and didn’t understand many things, but I knew that Grandpa and Grandma loved me deeply and treasured every moment they could spend with us. Coming home from school each day and seeing Grandpa waiting for me at home gave me a sense of peace and happiness that I only realized was truly precious when I grew older and looked back.
Grandpa was an adult who loved to smile and loved to joke around. He would often take the initiative to come and play with me, making me laugh. Because I was the eldest child in the family, he doted on me especially and spent the most time playing with me. Whenever I wanted to play, Grandpa was always willing to go along with it, just like a big boy who never grew up.
The memory that left the deepest impression on me was from when we lived in Japan and had a single recliner chair at home, one that could be pushed backward. Sometimes Grandpa would fall asleep while sitting on it, and I would quietly sneak over and suddenly push the chair backward, startling him awake. Grandpa would always shout in surprise, then after a moment burst into laughter at himself, pretending to be angry and saying, “You did it again!” before chasing after me. Every time, I would laugh until my stomach hurt, and he would laugh uncontrollably along with me. I feel that those were the happiest moments we shared.
Later, we moved back to Taiwan. I originally thought we would be able to see Grandpa and Grandma more often because the distance was closer. But in reality, there was still distance in daily life. We lived in Taipei, while Grandpa and Grandma lived in Xindian. Visiting them still required planning and time. It wasn’t like in Japan, where they were always by our side. On top of that, because of COVID-19, we were afraid of bringing the virus to them, so during those years we hardly went to Xindian at all and could only keep in touch through video calls or phone calls.
During the pandemic, I grew up a little, but Grandpa had clearly grown old. The Grandpa who used to smile all the time and go everywhere was now increasingly uncomfortable, often having headaches, stomach aches, aches everywhere. Grandma still came to our church to worship at least once a month, but Grandpa went out much less often. Sometimes when we wanted to visit him, he would say he was tired and wanted to rest, not letting us come. Perhaps he didn’t want us to see him in pain or in a weak state.
I slowly began to understand that time really does change many things.
Now when I look back, I really wish I could see that Grandpa again, the one who loved to smile and joke around. I want to push the recliner backward one more time, to hear him scream in surprise and then laugh; I want to see once more that cheerful, carefree expression on his face. Even though his smile has become rarer now, I know that he is still the Grandpa who once filled my world with laughter.
I also know that growing old is a process everyone must go through. Grandpa doesn’t not want to smile; his body simply no longer has the strength it once did. So, my greatest wish now is very simple: I hope Grandpa won’t be in pain anymore, and that his days can be a little more comfortable and his heart a little more at ease. I hope he can stay healthy and continue to be with us, watching us grow up, graduate, work, and build families of our own.
Although I can’t be by his side every day, I treasure the memories we share. Those smiles, chases, and playful days are deeply hidden in my heart. I believe Grandpa remembers them too, it’s just that he expresses it in a different way.
Grandpa, I really miss you, and I truly love you. I hope there will be plenty of time in the future for us to laugh together, chat together, and eat together without worrying about the pandemic, and without worrying about physical discomfort. You are the warmest and happiest presence in my childhood. I will always remember the Grandpa who was always smiling.
I hope that every day you can live happily. I hope your smile will return not only in memories, but in the present and the future. May you be safe and healthy, and stay with us for a very, very long time.
我小時候住在日本，所以阿公阿嬤也常常回來看我們，應該是說有一段時間
是住在一起的。那時候的我還小，很多事情都不懂，但我知道阿公阿嬤一直
很愛我，也很珍惜能陪伴我們的時間。每天放學回家看到阿公在家裡等我，
那種安心和幸福，是長大後回想才覺得特別珍貴。
阿公是一個很愛笑，也很愛搞怪的大人。他常常會主動來找我玩，逗我開
心。因為我是家裡的老大，所以他特別疼我，陪我玩的時間也最多。只要我
想玩，阿公永遠都願意配合，像是一個永遠長不大的大男孩。
我最印象深刻的回憶，就是我們之前在日本家裡有一個單人沙發，是那種可
以往後倒的。阿公有時候坐著坐著就睡著了，而我就會趁機偷偷靠近，用力
把椅子往後倒，把他嚇醒。阿公每次都會驚叫一聲，然後過一下就被自己嚇
笑，邊笑邊假裝生氣說：「你又來了喔！」接著就追著我跑。我每次都笑到
肚子痛，而他也會跟著大笑不止。我覺得那是我們最開心的一段時光。
後來我們搬回台灣，我原本以為能和阿公阿嬤更常見面，因為距離變近了。
但生活上其實還是有距離存在。我們住台北，阿公阿嬤住新店，去找他們也
需要時間安排，不像在日本那樣隨時都在身邊。再加上新冠肺炎的關係，我
們怕把病毒帶給他們，所以那幾年間幾乎都不怎麼去新店了，只能靠視訊或
電話問候。
疫情期間我長大了一些，可是阿公卻明顯變老了。以前總是笑嘻嘻、到處玩
的他，身體越來越不舒服，常常頭痛、肚子痛，哪裡都痛。阿嬤至少每個月
會來我們教會拜拜，但阿公就比較少出門了。有時候我們想去看他，他也會
說他累，想休息，不讓我們去。他不想讓我們看到他痛苦或虛弱的一面吧。
我開始慢慢體會到，原來時間真的會改變很多事情。
現在回想起來，我好想再看到以前那個愛笑、愛搞怪的阿公。想再一次把沙
發往後壓，把他嚇得大叫又大笑；想再一次看到他那種開朗、沒有煩惱的表
情。雖然現在他的笑容變少了，但我知道，他還是那個曾經讓我世界充滿歡
笑的阿公。
我也知道，老是每個人都要面對的過程，阿公不是不想笑，而是身體已經不
像以前那麼有力氣了。所以我現在最大的願望很簡單，就是希望阿公不要痛
了，希望他的每天都過得舒服一點，心情也能放輕鬆。我希望他可以健康地
一直陪在我們身邊，看著我們長大、畢業、工作、成家。
雖然我不是每天都能陪在他身邊，但我很珍惜我們之間的回憶，那些笑容、
追逐、鬧著玩的日子，都深深藏在我的心裡。我相信阿公也一樣記得，只是
他表達的方式不太一樣。
阿公，我真的很想你，也真的很愛你。希望未來還有很多時間，我們可以一
起笑、一起聊天、一起吃飯，不用擔心疫情，也不用擔心身體不舒服。你是
我童年裡最溫暖、最快樂的存在，我會永遠記得那個總是笑咪咪的阿公。
希望你每天都能過得開心，希望你的笑容能回來，不只在回憶裡，而是在現
在和未來。願你平安健康，陪伴我們很久很久。