Author: Xu Anyu 許安妤
I want to write about my grandpa and grandma. My father is an only child, which means that my brother and I are the only two grandchildren they have. In the latter half of their lives, the two of us siblings were almost the entirety of their world.
Grandpa is said to have been the child most doted on by our great-grandparent. When he was young, he was rather carefree and unruly. In an era that was still quite conservative, he took the initiative in every possible way to pursue Grandma, even going so far as to install a telephone line that connected only to Grandma’s room. But after marriage, he still could not fully shake off his roguish nature. Although he never had any romantic scandals, staying out all night was common. Whenever he was sent to buy things, even if they did not have to be big-name brands, he insisted, regardless of price, that the quality be the best. This often led to arguments with Grandma, who was frugal by nature.
This situation is said to have changed only after I was born. I was born prematurely and was frail and sickly. Grandpa would hold me all night without closing his eyes; in the middle of the night, he would ride his motorcycle at full speed to the hospital with Grandma holding me in her arms; he would secretly buy small snacks for my brother and me; he was even once hit by a motorcycle while protecting me and still worried first about whether I had been frightened…
When I left Penghu to study in Taipei, I once asked Grandpa: if I left Penghu, would I still be considered a Penghu person?
Grandpa laughed with the hearty openness of a Penghu native and said only one sentence to me: “As long as your heart is in Penghu, you will always be a Penghu person.”
But even Grandpa, who always lived freely and loved us dearly, had unfinished regrets. Our family has a tradition that is meant to be passed down. Although Grandpa was not the most gifted among his brothers, he was certainly one of those most willing to give everything to carry on the traditions left by our ancestors. But my father lacked the aptitude, my brother did not care, and more than once I saw Grandpa late at night, after each ancestral rite, murmuring softly in front of our great-grandparent’s portrait. Occasionally, at family gatherings after drinking with his brothers, he would sigh about there being no one to carry on the legacy. Sometimes, I wonder whether Grandpa also wished I had been born a boy.
No matter what, Grandma says that in the first half of Grandpa’s life, the person he loved most was himself; in the second half, the people he loved most were my brother and me, placing even his wife and son to the side. I believe that this is true.
Grandma is the eldest sister in her family. After losing her mother at a young age, she single-handedly shouldered the responsibility of caring for six younger siblings. Therefore, even though Grandma rarely keeps in touch now with those uncles and aunts, they all remain very close to her.
In our household, Grandma is the goddess who rules the kitchen. She takes care of all the household chores and has been the person I give a gift to every Mother’s Day since childhood. The grace of giving birth is great, but the grace of raising is even greater.
Grandma often tells us stories of the past; how, as a child, she led her younger brothers and sisters to pick up bottles or sugarcane by the roadside, how they stole sweet potatoes from the fields, and how she later endured hardship to raise my father to adulthood. After Grandpa passed away, she spoke even more often about the amusing stories from when Grandpa pursued her, such as how he secretly bribed two of the younger uncles to act as little spies, or how he subtly tried to learn Grandma’s preferences through her sisters.
When Grandma was young, she might not have been a social butterfly, but she maintained close and warm relationships with neighbours and relatives. When she cooked something delicious, she would ask us to bring some to a neighbour uncle with intellectual disabilities; at the market, she could rely on her good rapport and eloquence to get vendors to cut prices in half; after sending us to school, she would go up the nearby hills to play cards and sing with others…
But ever since my brother and I both entered university and left her side, Grandma has been like an elderly person in the empty-nest stage, becoming less and less inclined to socialize. She still participates in community volunteer activities, but no longer goes to the seniors’ association to play cards; she still goes to the market to buy groceries, but leaves as soon as she is done, rarely stopping to chat; she often sits at home for an entire day, and the place she goes to most is still the vegetable garden at home.
If there is a time when Grandma seems most energetic, I think it is whenever relatives visit with their young grandchildren or great-grandchildren. At those moments, Grandma is always delighted, happily playing with them.
Every time this happens, I think of how, when my brother and I were young, we used to say we wanted to get married early so that Grandpa and Grandma could take care of great-grandchildren again. Now Grandpa no longer has that chance, but if possible, I hope to find other ways to help Grandma regain her vitality. According to relatives and friends, before I entered kindergarten, I was a child who seemed as though I might pass away at any time. It was Grandpa and Grandma—tireless, cleaning after me, caring for me day and night—who allowed me to grow up to where I am today. To me, they are not only my Grandpa and Grandma; they are also my lifesavers.
我想來書寫有關阿公阿嬤的故事，我的父親是獨生子，也就意味著我的阿公阿嬤只會有
我和弟弟兩個孫子女，在他們生命的後半段，我們姊弟倆幾乎是他們全部的生活重心。
阿公據說是家裡最受阿祖疼愛的孩子，年輕時較為放蕩不羈，在那個還算保守的年代，
他主動用各種方法追求阿嬤，甚至不惜裝了一條只通到阿嬤房間的電話。但在結婚後卻也收
不了那浪子性格，即使不曾有過風流事，但夜不歸宿也是常態，每每讓他去買東西，雖然不
一定要是大牌貨，但不管價錢，品質都一定要是最好的，經常惹得節儉成性的阿嬤和他爭
執。
這種狀態據說是在我出生後才有所改變的，剛出生時的我早產又體弱多病，阿公會整夜
不闔眼的抱著我、會半夜騎著摩托車載著抱著我的阿嬤飆車到醫院、會偷偷買小零食給我和
弟弟、會為了保護我而被機車撞了還要擔心我有沒有受到驚嚇……
在離開澎湖到台北讀書時，我曾問過阿公：如果我離開了澎湖，還會是澎湖人嗎？
阿公帶著澎湖人的爽朗大笑，只跟我說了一句：心在澎湖，你就永遠是澎湖人。
但一向活得瀟灑又疼愛我們的阿公也有未了的遺憾，我們家族中是有傳承在的，阿公雖
然不是兄弟中最有天分的那位，卻也一定是最願意付出一切想將祖先留下的傳統傳下去的那
批人之一，但爸爸沒天分，弟弟不在意，我曾幾度在夜裡看著阿公在每次祭祖完後對著阿祖
的遺像念念有詞，也偶爾會在家族聚會上醉酒後和他的幾位兄弟感嘆後繼無人，有時候，我
會想阿公會不會也希望我是男的。
但無論如何，阿嬤說，阿公前半輩子最愛的人是他自己，後半輩子最愛的人是我和弟
弟，連妻子和兒子都要放到一邊，這句話我相信是真的。
阿嬤是家裡的大姊，在年幼喪母後，一間扛起了照顧家裡六個弟妹的責任，所以儘管阿
嬤現在很少和那些舅公姨婆聯絡，他們也都還很親近阿嬤。
阿嬤在我們家是掌管廚房的神，包辦了一家大小的家事、也是從小到大每年母親節我都
會送禮的對象，生恩重，但養恩更重。
阿嬤經常和我們講古，告訴我們她小時候帶著弟弟妹妹們去路上撿瓶子或甘蔗、到田裡
偷挖番薯、後來又是怎麼含辛茹苦地把爸爸拉拔長大；阿公過世後，她也越來越常講起阿公
當年追她的時候的趣事，例如阿公是怎麼偷偷收買兩位小舅公當小間諜、怎麼偷偷跟幾位姨
婆套阿嬤的喜好等等。
阿嬤年輕時雖然算不上交際花，卻也是和鄰里、親友相處往來密切，她做了好吃的會讓
我們幫著給住在隔壁的智力低下的叔公送去一些、在菜市場上能憑著好人緣與口才直接讓攤
商打對折、會在送我們上學後去附近山上和人打牌唱歌……
但自從我和弟弟雙雙上了大學、離開她身邊後，阿嬤就如同空巢期的老人，越來越不愛
出去交際，她仍會去參加社區志工活動，卻不再去老人會打牌；她仍會去市場買菜，但都是
買完就走，鮮少再駐足與人交談幾句；經常在家裡一坐就是一整天、最常去的地方還是家裡
的菜園子。
若要說阿嬤最有活力的時候，我想還是每次親戚來訪時，帶著他們家的小孫子或重孫子
過來，阿嬤總會開心地逗弄他們。
每每這時候，我都會想起幼時常跟弟弟一起說要早點結婚，讓阿公阿嬤再照顧重孫子，
現在阿公是沒機會了，但若是可以，我想再找些方法讓阿嬤能重拾活力。
在親朋好友的口中，直到上幼兒園前，我都像是隨時會夭折的孩子，是阿公阿嬤不辭辛
勞、把屎把尿、沒日沒夜的照料，我才能長到這麼大，對我而言他們是我的阿公阿嬤，更是
我的救命恩人。