Author: Hsu Chih-Chi 許芷綺
My grandma is the elder in the family who loves me the most. Because I am her only granddaughter, I have been showered with her boundless love since I was young. On my mother’s side of the family, my mother was the only one who had a child, and I was an only child as well, so Grandma cared for me especially deeply, placing almost all her affection on me. She has short grey hair and a petite, slender figure. She always welcomes me with a smiling face, speaking gently and slowly, which instantly makes people feel at ease. Grandma always carries the scent of soap on her. It is the most familiar and safest smell of my childhood memories.
Grandma had a hard life when she was young, growing up in an era of material scarcity. She once told me that being able to eat a whole piece of candy as a child was the greatest happiness. Because of that background, she developed a thrifty and appreciative attitude toward life. Leftover food in the refrigerator could always be turned into a new dish, and old clothes would be kept and cut into cleaning rags. When I was young, I often felt that Grandma was too “stingy,” but only after growing up did I understand that this was a generation’s respect for and appreciation of life.
In my memories, Grandma loved taking care of people the most. Every time after school, my mother would bring me to Grandma’s house, and she would always prepare the dishes I liked. We often cooked together while chatting, and she would ask me how school was going and whether my friends treated me well. Even though my Taiwanese was not good and her Mandarin was not fluent, making communication somewhat difficult, she would always listen attentively until I finished speaking, then smile and gently pat my hand. That kind of tenderness occupies the softest corner of my heart.
Later on, time slowly took away Grandma’s memories. A few years ago, she was diagnosed with mild dementia. At first, she often forgot things; later, she even began to confuse people’s names. Combined with a fall a few years ago that required hip replacement surgery, Grandma now lives in a care facility. Every time I go to visit her, she still smiles and holds my hand. Sometimes she suddenly calls the wrong name, calling my mother “aunt,” or fails to recognize me, then stands there with a silly smile. Every time I visit, I comb her hair and chat with her. Although she has become quieter and less responsive now, I still stay by her side, talking to her nonstop until she grows impatient.
What Grandma has given me is not only care and companionship, but also an attitude toward life. Her life may seem ordinary, yet it contains immense strength. She taught me that no matter how difficult life becomes, one should never lose the ability to smile. Be more patient with family, because one day, we too will become the generation that needs to be cared for. Her resilience and optimism have become my support when I face setbacks.
Family bonds are often accumulated slowly over time. Grandma’s story helped me understand the meaning of “inheritance”, not only material possessions, but also attitudes and love. She spent her entire life teaching me what gentleness is: giving in everyday life, asking for nothing in return, and quietly watching over others. Now she can no longer remember many things, but the habits and affection she gave me have long become a part of my life.
Every time I leave the care centre, I turn back to look at that door. Seeing Grandma sitting in a wheelchair by the window basking in the sun, or lying on the bed, always makes me think of her smile when she was younger. Even as her memories gradually fade, she is still that person who loves cleanliness, loves to smile, loves her family, and places happiness in others. Grandma’s life story may not be especially grand, but it is like a lamp that has illuminated my path of growth. Time cannot take away Grandma’s warmth. She may forget what the world looks like, but I will never forget her. What she taught me through her life is how to love, to be strong, and to live within the ordinary.
Going out to play with Grandma when I was little.
我的外婆是家中最疼愛我的長輩。因為我是她唯一的孫女，從小就受到她滿滿
的愛。媽媽那邊的親戚中，只有媽媽生了孩子，而我又是獨生女，外婆對我特
別關心，幾乎把全部的寵愛都放在我身上。外婆有著一頭灰短髮和嬌小又纖瘦
的體型。她總是笑瞇瞇地迎接我，語氣溫柔，說話慢慢的，讓人聽著就覺得安
心。外婆身上總帶著肥皂香，那是我童年記憶中最熟悉、也最安全的味道。
外婆年輕的時候生活辛苦，成長於物資缺乏的年代。她曾和我說過，小時候能
吃上一顆完整的糖果，是最幸福的事。也因為那樣的背景，她養成了勤儉、珍
惜的個性。冰箱裡的剩菜，她總能變成新的一道菜；舊衣服也會留下來剪成抹
布。小時候我總覺得外婆太「節省」，但長大以後才懂，那是一代人對生活的尊
重與珍惜。
在我的印象裡，外婆最喜歡照顧人。每次我放學媽媽會帶著我去外婆家，她總
會準備我愛吃的菜。常常和外婆邊煮邊聊天，問我學校怎麼樣、朋友有沒有對
我好。雖然台語不好的我和中文不好的她交流有些困難，但她卻總是認真聽我
說完，再笑著拍拍我的手。那樣的溫柔，是我心裡最柔軟的角落。
但再後來，時間慢慢帶走了外婆的記憶。幾年前她被診斷為輕度失智。起初只
是常常忘記事情，後來連人名也會混淆。因為加上幾年前跌倒換過髖關節，外
婆她現在住在安養中心，每次我去探望她，她還是會笑著拉我的手。有時她會
突然喊錯名字，把媽媽叫成阿姨，或是不認得我，然後又傻愣愣的笑。每次去
看她，我都會替她梳頭、和她聊天。雖然她現在變得不太愛說話也不太理人。
但我還是會在她身旁一直碎碎念，直到她耐煩為止。
外婆給我的啟發，不只是照顧與陪伴，更是一種生命態度。她的人生看似平
凡，卻蘊含著強大的力量。她教我：生活再難，也不要失去笑的能力。對家人
要多一點耐心，因為有一天，我們也會變成別人需要照顧的那一代。她的堅韌
與樂觀，成了我面對挫折時的支撐。
家庭的連結，往往是在時間裡慢慢累積的。外婆的故事讓我理解了「傳承」的
意義，不僅是財物，也包括了態度與愛。她用一輩子的方式教我什麼是溫柔：
在日常裡付出、不計回報、默默守護。現在她記不清太多事情了，但她給我的
那些習慣與思念，早已成為我生命的一部分。
每次離開安養中心時，我都會回頭看一眼那扇門。外婆坐在輪椅上，在窗邊曬
太陽、或是躺在床上的樣子，總讓我想起她年輕時的笑容。即使記憶漸漸模
糊，她仍然是那個愛乾淨、愛笑、愛家人、把幸福放在別人身上的人。外婆的
生命故事，也許不特別偉大，卻像一盞燈，照亮了我成長的路。外婆的溫度時
間帶不走，她或許會忘了世界的樣子，但我不會忘記她。她用一生教會我的，
是如何在平凡裡去愛、去堅強、去生活。
小時候和外婆一起出去玩