Author: Tan Xue Yun Angie
I was eight when my grandmother moved in with us. Prior to her living with us, my impression of her was just the grandmother we visit every weekend at Toa Payoh. I remember the 3-room flat she lived in and the various incidents I encountered when we visited, such as the time where I had my hand stuck in the door of the lift because my hand was somehow on the lift door when it was opening (I never ever have my hand on the lift door again!). Another time, I managed to get my leg stuck in the squat toilet bowl. What I also recall were the awkward conversations we had which was always limited to the few Teochew words that was taught to me: Have you eaten? Which I have to recite every time we visit.
I don’t remember much about the day that my grandmother moved in with us, neither can I recall if my parents discussed with us about this. I just realised one day that my grandmother is moving in with us and that she and I will be in the same room. I recalled this conversation I had with her in after she moved in about how we can better communicate – we quickly figured that we can both speak Cantonese and so, that became the main language we communicated with – although no one in our family is Cantonese.
The next few years with her flew by – I was probably the one she spent most time with because I was always at home. We spent so much quality time together watching Hong Kong movies and dramas and listening to her favourite music. I would also make her share stories of the war. Thinking back, it was probably traumatic for her to recap those times, now I would be the only one who could share with my family the stories of her hiding with my aunt while the Japanese soldiers were searching the house and how hard it was trying to keep her baby quiet when the soldiers were around. Other times, she would make me call McDonalds to order McNuggets for us for tea! It is a dream any grandkid could have!
She shaped so much of my childhood and just recently as my partner and I were chatting, he briefly mentioned, “this grandmother of must have been quite influential in your life…you seem to mention her a lot”. I did not realise that before, but indeed, she must have! As I grew older, I learnt that my grandmother was asked to move out from my uncle’s and my parents invited her to live with us. It was probably an angry and tense situation the adults had to deal with but as children, we were shieled from the details. Now when my family and I talk about my grandmother, we can’t help but appreciate that twist of events that led us to having her in our lives. We would never have known her as well as I could have if we would have remained weekly visitors to Toa Payoh and the hundreds of “Have you eaten?” I would have asked.