Author: Sng Poh Hwa Shirley
The thought of a relationship with relatives has always irked me. I wondered why. A soul-searching within me discovered it could have been triggered by a childhood experience. I strongly believe it had negatively impacted me till this day – I thought nothing much of forging a deeper relationship with close kin. It has also made me the person I am – sensitive to others’ feelings, able to empathise with people facing distress and lend a hand if I could.
I recalled the significant event that led me to loathe the relationship with relatives, be it distant or close. My 9-year-old brother died through drowning. It scared the wits out of me witnessing my parents’ meltdowns and they refused to be comforted. Out of pain of the loss of his son, my dad turned to my mum and lashed at her, causing his death by not looking after him carefully, and this was in front of all my relatives who crowded my small house learning about the tragedy. Instead of stopping my dad from acting violently towards my mum, all chipped in and chided my mum for shirking her responsibility. My poor mum was already so heartbroken, and I was too young to comprehend lost but was deeply frightened by the scene set before me. I was deeply saddened to have lost my brother as I had scolded him the night before – a sense of guilt swept over me. But it hurt me even more to see all my relatives instead of comforting my mum but blaming her for the untimely death of my brother – can’t they be silent if they couldn’t help! Now, I learn to be silent if I have nothing to say.
