Author: Poh Bee Kai
My grandmother was from China, she was initially cared for by my uncle, with the help of his wife and his two daughters. After aunt was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, they were no longer able to cope with the care of grandma.
When I was 9 years old, the burden of care giving fall on my mother and our whole family which changes our family dynamic. As a Teochew family, females are the caregivers, hence mum and I shared the care giving load.
My mum was the sole bread winner for our family. Mum changed her job; she worked night shift to care for grandma in the daytime while I was in school. I cared for grandma during the night while mum earn a living for our family.
Grandma has diabetes, she developed wounds very frequently. As a primary schooler, I need to bring grandma on the public bus to the polyclinic for change of dressing three times a week. As her diabetes worsen, mum and I learned to give her daily insulin injection.
Care for grandma increased dramatically as her dementia and diabetes worsen over the years. There were times where her acute confusion seemed to eat into the unbearable night. My siblings and me were merely secondary schoolers, we had to handle her, keep her safe, serve her breakfast and insulin injection before attend schools.
Grandma’s health deteriorated; she vomited after every meal. Every morning, I cleansed her after she vomited, and I ran to school. Every morning, I was late for school and faced school punishment. No teachers understood my struggles while I was juggling between my ‘O’ Levels examination and care of grandma.
After one teacher knew my struggles, grandma was placed in an inpatient hospice and passed away there. Mum and I had done our best to care for grandma.
